


Ficlet Collection #2

by seraphina_snape



Series: sera's leverageland scribbles [5]
Category: Leverage
Genre: Ficlet Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 20:32:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 70
Words: 14,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6872389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seraphina_snape/pseuds/seraphina_snape
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>More ficlets I've written for Leverageland. Includes multiple pairings and ratings (but none above PG-13); see the list in the first chapter. </p><p>All ficlets have individual warnings where needed, hence the lack of general warnings. Please check the chapter notes for warnings, spoiler notices and so on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Masterlist

Masterlist  
Chapter 002: fantasy/fairy tale AU, gen/pre-Hardison/Parker, rated G (prompt: fantasy)  
Chapter 003: gen, rated G (prompt: enemy)  
Chapter 004: gen, Sophie & Eliot friendship, rated PG for injury (prompt: bullet)  
Chapter 005: circus performer AU, gen, rated PG (prompts: freak, circus, circle, blue, spell, circus (again)) – this chapter includes six ficlets  
Chapter 006: crossover with Supernatural, gen, rated PG? (prompt: demon)  
Chapter 007: gen, rated PG (prompt: accelerate)  
Chapter 008: gen, rated PG (prompt: car)  
Chapter 009: gen, rated PG (prompt: rage)  
Chapter 010: gen, rated PG (prompt:speed )  
Chapter 011: Nate/Sophie, rated PG, set after season 5 (prompt: mirror)  
Chapter 012: crossover with Teen Wolf, werewolf!Parker, gen, rated PG (prompt: change)  
Chapter 013: Parker/Hardison, rated PG (prompt: tomorrow)  
Chapter 014: gen, rated PG (prompt: brilliant)  
Chapter 015: gen, rated PG (prompt: television)  
Chapter 016: Nate/Sophie implied, rated PG (prompt: hell)  
Chapter 017: crossover with Supernatural, gen, rated PG (prompt: brimstone)  
Chapter 018: gen, rated PG (prompt: diamond)  
Chapter 019: gen, rated PG (prompt: spider)  
Chapter 020: gen, rated PG (prompt: author's choice)  
Chapter 021: Nate/Sophie implied, Sophie & Parker friendship, rated PG (prompt: gift)  
Chapter 022: Parker/Hardison implied, rated PG (prompt: pure)  
Chapter 023: gen, rated PG (prompt: syndrome)  
Chapter 024: gen, rated PG, set right before The Office Job (prompt: save)  
Chapter 025: gen, rated PG (prompt: forest)  
Chapter 026: gen (or OT3 if you want), rated PG (prompt: octopus)  
Chapter 027: gen, rated PG, set during the Mile High Job (prompt: relief)  
Chapter 028: crossover with Stargate, gen, rated PG, it's implied that Eliot was at one time host to a goa'uld symbiote (prompt: parasite)  
Chapter 029: gen (Eliot-centric), rated PG (prompt: maze)  
Chapter 030: : gen (or OT3 if you want), rated PG (prompt: despise)  
Chapter 031: Parker/Hardison, rated PG-13? (prompt: nightmare)  
Chapter 032: gen (Eliot-centric), rated PG-13 (prompt: monster)  
Chapter 033: gen (Nate-centric), rated PG (prompt: ashes)  
Chapter 034: gen, rated PG (prompt: beginning)  
Chapter 035: Parker/Hardison, rated PG (prompt: baby)  
Chapter 036: gen, rated PG (prompt: flag)  
Chapter 037: gen, rated PG, Parker & Sophie friendship (prompt: ice)  
Chapter 038: Parker/Hardison, rated PG (prompt: plague)  
Chapter 039: Nate/Sophie implied, Sophie-centric, rated PG (prompt: shadow & negative) – this chapter includes two ficlets  
Chapter 040: gen, rated PG (prompt: belief)  
Chapter 041: gen, rated PG (prompt: technology)  
Chapter 042: gen (Sophie-centric), rated PG (prompt: lying)  
Chapter 043: gen (Eliot-centric), rated PG-13 (prompt: violence)  
Chapter 044: gen, rated PG (prompt: bereft)  
Chapter 045: gen, rated PG (prompt: power)  
Chapter 046: gen, rated PG (prompt: distress)  
Chapter 047: gen, rated PG-13 (prompt: emotion)  
Chapter 048: gen, rated PG (prompt: fortune)  
Chapter 049: gen, rated PG (prompt: cloth)  
Chapter 050: gen (sort of Parker/the team's mark, but not at all, really), PG-13 (prompt: bound)  
Chapter 051: gen, rated PG (prompt: choir)  
Chapter 052: gen, rated PG (prompt: fantasy)  
Chapter 053: gen, rated PG, elementary school AU (prompt: enemy)  
Chapter 054: Parker/Hardison implied, rated PG (prompt: freak)  
Chapter 055: Nate/Sophie implied, rated PG, kidfic (prompt:circle, demon, lying) – this chapter includes three ficlets  
Chapter 056: gen, rated PG + PG-13, Zombie AU (prompt: plague + bereft) – this chapter includes two ficlets  
Chapter 057: gen, rated PG (prompt: hell)  
Chapter 058: gen, rated PG (prompt: brimstone)  
Chapter 059: Parker/Hardison implied, rated PG (prompt: genie)  
Chapter 060: nate/Sophie, rated PG, sort-of kidfic (prompt: india + frog) – this chapter includes two ficlets  
Chapter 061: gen, rated PG (prompt: super)  
Chapter 062: gen, rated PG (prompt: fall)  
Chapter 063: gen, rated PG (prompt: rope)  
Chapter 064: gen (or OT3 if you want), rated PG (prompt: explosion, distress ) – this chapter includes two ficlets  
Chapter 065: gen, rated PG (prompt: pure)  
Chapter 066: gen, rated PG-13 (prompt: syndrome)  
Chapter 067: gen (or OT3), rated PG (prompt: save)  
Chapter 068: gen, rated PG (prompt: negative)  
Chapter 069: gen, rated PG-13 (prompt: bound + erase) – this chapter includes two ficlets  
Chapter 070: Parker/Hardison implied, rated PG (prompt: belief)  



	2. Chapter 2

**Prompt:** 062\. Fantasy  
 **Pairing/Rating:** pre-Hardison/Parker, G  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** Fantasy/Fairy Tale AU

 

"You're Prince Alec, right?" 

Hardison, clinging to the vines that grew on the tower walls, let out a manly shriek and pressed himself to the wall. When he could move again, he slowly turned his head. 

Hanging upside down on a rope of twined vines was a blonde girl in what looked like the remains of a ball gown. The puffed up sleeves had been ripped off at the shoulder and the skirt cut up and re-sewn to resemble trousers. 

"Princess Parker?" Hardison asked. "You're not... trapped?" 

The princess blew out a breath and shrugged. "Well, the dragon's minion did lock the door, but the lock is so last century. And there aren't even any bars on the windows." 

Considering that the tower was over a hundred feet tall, Hardison didn't find that too strange. The princess seemed to disagree, and judging by the easy way she was hanging off that rope, he figured that made sense. 

"Well, does that mean you don't need to be rescued?" 

The princess shrugged again. "Not really, but... do you have a horse?"

Hardison nodded. 

"Awesome," Princess Parker said. "Tell you what: we use your horse to escape and I'll give you 30% of the gold I just looted from the dragon's horde." 

Hardison frowned, intent on getting just a few more details before he agreed to becoming an accomplice to _anything_ , but a load, angry roar in the distance stopped him. 

"The gold is in a chest at the foot of the tower. I went back for some really big diamonds," Princess Parker said, patting her side where a large black velvet pouch dangled from her belt. "Now, we should really get going. Looks like the dragon woke up and noticed a few key pieces of his treasure are missing." 

Hardison watched as the princess continued down the tower. "Right," he said to himself, starting the climb back down. "If I don't tell people about the gold and the princess who rescued herself, I can probably still get credit for this one."


	3. Chapter 3

**Prompt:** 065\. Enemy  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, G  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** vague reference to The Queen's Gambit Job

"Eliot."

"No!"

"Eliot, come on!" 

"I said _no_!" 

Nate took in a deep breath. "Eliot." 

"No, Nate! I'm not working with that weasel again!" 

"Look, I know you and Sterling are mortal enemies, but--"

"Read my lips, okay? I am NOT working with him again," Eliot said, his voice terse. 

"If we want to take down this corporation, we need his help."

Eliot shook his head. "I don't care." 

Nate opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, Eliot raised a finger. "The man drugged me, Nate!" 

Nate rolled his eyes. "All right, fine, so don't drink his coffee, but you're not getting out of this and that's final!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Prompt:** 066\. Bullet  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Sophie  & Eliot friendship, PG for injury  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** Eliot gets shot. Oops.

"Oh my god, you've been hit!" Sophie exclaimed, watching with wide eyes as Eliot leaned heavily against the counter and then gingerly removed his bloodstained shirt. 

"Yup," Eliot said. "But I lost them on the way here, so don't worry about them finding us." 

Sophie gasped as she caught sight of the wound. "That's not exactly what I was worrying about. That's a lot of blood." 

"Nah," Eliot said. "It looks worse than it is. I just need to dig the bullet out, clean it and stitch it up. Be good as new in a few days."

"Somehow," Sophie said faintly, "I seriously doubt that." 

Eliot grabbed the first aid kit from underneath the sink and then met her eyes. "Not the first time I've been shot, Soph. Just the first time it happened for this team."

"Yes," Sophie said, annoyance creeping into her voice, "I know that. But unlike you, I'm not quite as accustomed to bloody gunshot wounds as you are. Let me worry about you, okay? Or at least help you with that." 

Eliot sighed and relinquished his hold on the first aid kit. Being part of a team took some getting used to. But as Sophie carefully cleaned his wound, he figured it wasn't too bad after all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Prompt:** 067\. Freak  
**Pairing/Rating:** Gen (or OT3, if you like); PG  
**Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** Circus Performer AU (OMG ADDY WHAT HAVE YOU STARTED?)

"Freaks!" 

The insult was muttered in passing by a bunch of pimply-looking teenagers with patchy moustaches that looked like they still had some growing up to do until they became actual beards. Eliot only just managed to hook an arm around Parker's middle and keep her from storming after them. 

"Why do they even come here if they dislike us so much?" Parker muttered, arms crossed and a sulky pout on her lips. 

Eliot shrugged. "It's a podunk town in the middle of nowhere and they're teenagers. They hate everything." 

"So?" Parker said. "Doesn't mean they have to come here just to be mean to people!"

"So there's literally nothing else to do around here or anywhere in a fifty-mile radius," Eliot said. "It's the place to be even if it's not cool to like the circus when you're seventeen." 

Parker glared after the youths who'd long disappeared into the crowd. "I'm gonna find Hardison and make him magic their keys away." 

Eliot stared after Parker. "That's not--that's not how it works," he muttered, unheard by Parker. He sadly shook his head. "Man, there's something wrong with that girl."

 

 **Prompt:** 068\. Circus  
**Pairing/Rating:** Gen, G  
**Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** Circus Performer AU (can be read as set in the same universe as the above)

Parker ran out into the circus arena and beamed at the applauding audience. Silence fell as Parker, in her glittering, skin-tight outfit, scaled the tall ladder and reached the small platform on top of the tent. An air of hushed expectation and excitement settled over the crowd and Parker closed her eyes briefly, breathing in the mixed scents of the circus: musk from the animals, aromatic sawdust and the sweet scent of sugar from all the cotton candy and various other sweets that were sold to the audience. 

Opening her eyes, Parker grabbed a handful of talcum powder and spread it on her hands. Then, under the watchful eyes of the crowd, she grabbed the bar of her trapeze and jumped.

 

 **Prompt:** 069\. Circle  
**Pairing/Rating:** Gen, G  
**Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** Circus Performer AU (can be read as set in the same universe as the above)

The things Eliot loved about the circus were manifold. He loved the anonymity and the traveling - never long in one place, never too cozy with the natives. It gave his past less of a chance to catch up with him. He also loved the community. They were an odd group, on the whole, but almost like family, the way they all ate together in Nate's big caravan sometimes. He loved the animals, too. They didn't judge, and as long as you treated them right, with respect and love and understanding, they were good companions. 

As the crowd cheered, Eliot entered the caged off area and cracked his whip. The waiting lions reacted to the sound and started the show, circling him at a quick run before they broke off one by one and reclaimed the seats on the stairs. 

But most of all, Eliot thought, he loved the performances.

 **Prompt:** 079\. Blue  
**Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
**Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** Circus Performer AU

Sophie smiled, running out onto the sawdust-covered arena on bare feet. The crowd cheered only half-heartedly as they caught sight of the hoops Sophie was carrying, but she was used to it. Hula-hoop had gone out of fashion for most people when Hawaiian-print shirts had. But Sophie prided herself on the fact that ninety-nine percent of the audience would leave the show with a newfound appreciation for hooping. 

The lights dimmed and the music started. Sophie raised her hoops over her head. One by one, she tossed the hoops in the air. Mason, her assistant, stood on the sidelines and used a remote to control the LED lights built into the hoops to make them light up. By the time all six hoops were lit with white and blue sparkling lights, the crowd had settled and was eagerly awaiting the show. 

Sophie smiled and started moving to the music. She couldn't wait for the grand finale - the fire hoops always got her the loudest applause of the night.

 

 **Prompt:** 080\. Spell  
**Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
**Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** Circus Performer AU

Nate was grinning like the proverbial cat that got the cream, listening to the sounds of the settling crowd from behind the red and white striped curtain that separated the arena from the backstage area and the performers' entrance point. This was what he lived for. The hushed whispers of the crowds, the excited children, the adults who pretended to be unaffected but secretly felt themselves brought back to their own childhoods, the heavy scent of popcorn and sugar, animal musk and sawdust. 

In a few moments he would go out there, tip his top hat to the ladies in the first row and let the crowds admire his red and gold uniform, twirling his black walking stick with a grace that would draw everyone's eye. By the end of his opening speech, he'd have the audience captivated, thoroughly spellbound and ready for the show of their lives.

The curtain opened and Nate stepped into the blinding brightness of the stage lights, grinning widely as the crowd cheered.

 **Prompt:** 068\. Circus  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** Circus Performer AU

Parker checked the rigging on her trailer one last time before she considered herself ready. They'd had their last performance in this little town the night before. After several hours of work, the tents were packed up and ready for transport, the animals were all taken care of and prepared for the road and everyone made sure their own trailers and RV's were gassed up and in running order. With the push of a button, Nate, in the first trailer, sounded his horn, the others following seconds behind. Parker grinned and put in the first gear. It was a ten hour drive to their next town.


	6. Chapter 6

**Prompt:** 070\. Demon  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG?  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** crossover with Supernatural

"Demon? As in...?" Hardison pursed his lips, his eyebrows drawn together in question. 

"Demon," the taller of the two guys confirmed with a serious expression on his face. 

"Okaaaaay, demons," Hardison said, his tone seriously implying that he was mostly just humoring the two gun-carrying crazy dudes. 

The shorter, prettier of the two gave him a knowing look. "Look, I know it sounds crazy, but your friends? Are possessed by freaking demons. No joke, no angle. Now, you can believe me and my brother and we'll hopefully get them back, or you can run off and they kill you. So what's it gonna be?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Prompt:** 071\. Accelerate  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG?  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

"Can't this thing go any faster?" Parker yelled from the backseat, ducking as a bullet whizzed past her head. 

"Of course it can," Sophie replied tersely from the driver's seat. "If you want to die in a fiery explosion when I crash us into a storefront." 

The rear window shattered under a new salve of gunfire and Nate sunk even lower in the passenger seat, desperately holding on to his hat. "You know, Sophie. I might be willing to take the chance if it gets rid of those guys chasing us."

"Well, they won't have to chase us if we're dead in a burned out shell of a car!" 

Eliot pushed Parker out of the way and leaned through the two front seats. He was bleeding from a few cuts on his face where exploding glass had grazed him. "Hit the gas, Sophie, or I'm gonna let Parker switch places with you!" he growled. 

"Fine!" Sophie rolled his eyes, looking entirely unfazed as a bullet flew through the broken glass and killed the rearview mirror.


	8. Chapter 8

**Prompt:** 072\. Car  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** I cobbled the car stuff together from things I googled, so it might be complete garbage. *shrugs*

 

"This," Eliot said, running a reverent hand over the sleek side panel of his new car, "is the Mustang GT Premium Fastback in race red. One of the best high performance cars on the market. 435 horsepower. New intake and exhaust camshafts with increased lift. The engine--"

"It's a car," Parker interrupted, bored out of her mind. 

"This is the new 5 liter V8," Eliot said, affronted. "This is not just a car. This is a statement. A status symbol." He paused, catching Parker's eye. "It's a way of life." 

Parker stared at him for a second, then rolled her eyes. "It's a freaking car, Eliot!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Prompt:** 073\. Rage  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG   
**Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

A loud crack of thunder heralded the upcoming storm and Eliot scowled up at the heavens just as the first rain drops landed on his cheek and nose. 

During the con, the team's covers had been blown at the last minute and they'd scattered as soon as the cops arrived. Nate, Eliot had figured, would join Sophie at her car and they'd go home together. He had been planning on joining Hardison and Parker in the van, getting a ride back to his own car, parked at the brew pub. However, when he finally reached the parking lot where they'd parked Lucille, the van was nowhere to be found. With the comms offline and dirt-splattered as he was from his exploits during the con, it would be a long trek home in the rain.

Eliot grit his teeth. "Damnit, Hardison!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Prompt:** 074\. Speed  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Parker smiled widely, her blonde hair whipping in the wind. She let out a loud whoop of joy and took one hand from the steering wheel to throw it up in the air and feel the resistance in the air. She didn't have a special relationship with cars, but she did have one with the rush of speed, the thrill of going faster and faster until it almost seemed like she was flying. Driving in a convertible with the top down and nothing but empty road ahead didn't come close to jumping off a tall building or a steep cliff, but it came pretty damn close.


	11. Chapter 11

**Prompt:** 075\. Mirror  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Nate/Sophie, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** post-show

Sophie flicked on the light in the hotel bathroom and sighed when she caught sight of her tired face in the mirror. They were supposed to be relaxing. It was her honeymoon, for god's sake! She should be sipping neon-colored drinks on a sandy beach - or better yet: the deck of a yacht. Instead, Nate kept finding them small jobs to work as they traveled around the Mediterranean, like he couldn't function without the thrill of the chase. So far they'd busted a pick pocket ring, uncovered an insurance scam and found three fakes hanging in a museum in Naples. Today, though, they were going to be nothing but tourists on their honeymoon. Sophie would make sure of it even if she had to slip something in Nate's drink to keep him at the poolside and out of any more of the local crime.


	12. Chapter 12

**Prompt:** 076\. Change  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** Crossover with Teen Wolf. The kid, if that wasn't clear, is Stiles. Werewolf!Parker.

"What is happening to me?" Parker asked, her voice wavering between afraid and angry. Anger won out and she jumped up, grabbed the gangly teenager by the neck and pushed him back against the wall. "I want answers, and I want them now!" 

"Okay, okay," the kid said quickly. "No need to get testy. Jeez, what is it with werewolves shoving me into any convenient flat surface? Don't you guys know that hurts? I'm not joking; my back might never be the same. Sixty-year-old me is gonna hate every one of you. If I live to be sixty years old, that is. At this point my chances are probably fifty-fifty. I mean, I survived this far, multiple werewolves - alphas, betas _and_ omegas -, a kanima, spirit possession, crazy professional killers... some blonde in a catsuit, even if she is a newly-made werewolf, isn't gonna be the death of me." He sighed and added "hopefully" under his breath. 

Parker blinked against the flood of words, but after years of deciphering Hardison's techno-babble, she could pick out the important facts in a monologue of inconsequential chatter. 

"Werewolf?" she asked, eyebrows raised. 

"I know, right?" the kid said. "It's true though. Unfortunately." He squirmed. "Hey, are you gonna let me go soon, by any chance?" 

Parker thought about it for a moment. "Keep talking, and maybe I'll consider it."


	13. Chapter 13

**Prompt:** 077\. Tomorrow  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Parker/Hardison, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** Parker and Hardison go to Disneyland. :D

"Oh, and I want to go on the pirate ride," Parker said. She drew an imaginary pirate sword. "Arr!" 

"Uh-huh," Hardison said tiredly. "Tomorrow, babe." 

"Oh, oh, oh," Parker said excitedly. "And I wanna see the Cinderella's castle. The glass slipper is supposed to sparkle like a diamond and I need to know if it's true." 

"Sure," Hardison mumbled. He buried his head under his pillow. "Tomorrow, okay?" 

"And they sell these double chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream sundaes, I need to eat at least three!"

"Babe," Hardison said, his voice tinged with desperation. "Sleeeep. We can see and do everything. _Tomorrow._ " 

Parker rolled her eyes and plonked down on the mattress. "Fine!"


	14. Chapter 14

**Prompt:** 078\. Brilliant  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** pre-show

The building wasn't especially tall, but Parker still enjoyed the seconds of free fall before her harness caught on the ropes. Once she was on the ground, she stowed her gear in the sewer tunnel below. She'd come back for it in the morning, before the theft was discovered. For now, she needed to get the merchandise to a safe place.

Parker paused outside the building and took out the velvet pouch she'd slipped into her pocket earlier. She shook the contents of the pouch into the palm of her hand and watched as the brilliant cut diamonds sparkled in the light of a nearby streetlamp. 

Smiling, Parker pocketed the diamonds and skipped down the street.


	15. Chapter 15

**Prompt:** 081\. Television  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** potentially spoilers for Gilmore Girls? But kinda vague ones. Maybe? 

"Is he still at it?" Eliot asked, even though he could see for himself. He, Nate and Sophie were standing at the kitchen island in Nate's apartment/their official headquarters. On the sofa, facing the wall of monitors, sat Hardison, staring at the screens while mindlessly shoveling popcorn into his mouth.

Sophie nodded. "Third day in a row," she said. "We have to do something." 

Both of them looked at Nate, who raised his hands in a warding gesture. "No way. It's not my fault that Parker went out with some guy and felt the urge to tell us how many times they had sex the next morning." 

"If you don't," Sophie said, "he's going to be here for weeks. Sunrise till after midnight. You won't be alone in your place, _ever_!" 

Nate narrowed his eyes. "You're always here anyway!" 

Eliot sighed. "Okay, you know? I'm gonna talk to him." 

Hardison didn't look up when Eliot approached, but his hand froze inside the popcorn bowl. When Eliot opened his mouth to speak, Hardison held up a hand. 

"Don't even. Rory is about to sleep with a married man and possibly ruin her life forever, doing exactly what her mother warned her not to, so either shut up and sit down or shut up and leave," Hardison said, his eyes never moving from the action on screen.

Eliot turned on his hell and headed for the door, throwing a "you're on your own!" over his shoulder at Nate.


	16. Chapter 16

**Prompt:** 082\. Hell  
 **Pairing/Rating:** implied Nate/Sophie, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Hardison sank down next to Eliot and Nate, letting the various bags he'd been carrying slide to the floor and join the heap of bags already set down by the other two. "How long have been doing this?" 

Eliot checked his watch. "Six hours, seventeen minutes and forty-two, forty-three, forty-four seconds." 

"I need a break," Hardison said. "Hell, I need lunch or at least something to drink." 

"I need new legs," Nate said. 

"And arms," Eliot added. "You know, I do weight training three times a week and I feel like I couldn't even lift a feather right now." 

Across the room, Parker stood on a small stool, Sophie directing an army of shop assistants on how exactly she wanted the bridesmaid dresses to look. Parker sent a wild look over to the bench the other three had claimed. "Help!" she mouthed. 

"How does she even have the energy to keep going? We've been to a gazillion shops already!" 

Eliot and Nate made commiserating noises.


	17. Chapter 17

**Prompt:** 083\. Brimstone  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** crossover with Supernatural

Hardison gulped. "Okay, so if demons are real and angels are real and the _devil_ is real, does that mean the whole brimstone and fire act...?" 

Sam nodded. "All real." 

"What about Santa?" Parker piped up.

Eliot rolled his eyes, but then cast a suspicious eye on Sam and Dean as the brothers exchanged a guilty look. "What? Don't say Santa is real! I'd never hear the end of it!" 

"No, no, no," Sam said. "Just... you know how most legends have a basis in a true story? Well, it's not so much the jolly man in a red suit as it is various pagan gods and, um, well, let's just say it's not pretty." 

"Human sacrifice," Dean threw in. "Wrath of the gods when no tribute is paid. That sort of thing." 

Parker's eyes lit up. "Coooooool," she breathed.


	18. Chapter 18

**Prompt:** 084\. Diamond  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Nate wasn't quite sure how, but his entire life had been taken over by this misfit team of his. He hesitated to call them family, even in the privacy of his mind, but they were clearly comfortable enough to leave their crap all over his apartment. If that wasn't a family thing, he didn't know what was. 

He sighed, looking down at the bits-and-bops drawer in his kitchen. Hair ties, clearly Eliot's. Spare cables, obviously Hardison's. A few cheap bracelets that Sophie had worn during a con. And the last piece was definitely Parker's: an octagonal-cut, very clear and very large diamond. Nate doubted she'd been careless with it and simply tossed it in, so that meant she was hiding it, probably from him since she'd been acting cagey when he returned home earlier than expected. Which meant it was probably stolen. 

"Parker! Why is there a stolen diamond in my kitchen?"


	19. Chapter 19

**Prompt:** 085\. Spider  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** spiders?

"All I'm saying is that this plan--OH MY GOD what is that?" Sophie took a few steps backwards, her eyes wide and fixed to Parker's hand. 

"This?" Parker asked, holding her hand out towards Sophie. 

Sophie pulled a face and took another step back. 

"Relax," Parker said. "It's just Norbert." 

"Norbert?" 

"Yeah," Parker said. "He's a tarantula." 

"I can see that," Sophie said, voice forcibly calm. "Why is it _here_?"

"Nate said we needed a spider for this con. A big one." 

Sophie sighed. "Okay, first of all, Nate said Spyder - as in, the car - not spider, the animal. And second, get that thing out of here or I'm burning this place to the ground!"


	20. Chapter 20

**Prompt:** 096\. Author's Choice  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

"Hardison, is everything set up on your end?" Nate asked over the comms.

"All clear," Hardison replied. 

"Parker, Eliot, you're up," Nate said, watching as the ballroom doors opened and Eliot and Parker walked into the room arm in arm. "Sophie's gonna lead you through it, Parker, so don't panic." 

"Yeah, and don't stab anyone," Eliot muttered. 

"I haven't stabbed anyone in years," Parker sniped back. "Unlike you." 

"Yeah," Eliot said. "But I'm actually _supposed_ to do that."

"Nobody is stabbing anyone tonight," Nate said, stepping in before the squabbling turned into an actual fight. That would only interfere with the staged fight they had planned. "Sophie?" 

"All right, Parker, like we practiced. One-two-three, one-two-three, don't lead, let Eliot do that. All you have to do is smile and look enticing." 

"I think I can handle it," Parker said. 

"Dancing, Parker, not talking," Sophie reminded her. 

"How long till your leg's healed, Sophie?" Eliot asked, his mask slipping for a short moment. From across the room, Nate could see the corners of his mouth twitch every time Parker stepped on his toes. "How about we move this along, Nate? Or I'm gonna be on crutches next." 

"Oh, shut up," Parker muttered. "This smiling and dancing business is not as easy as it looks." 

Nate sighed. Children. He was surrounded by children. "All right, I'm coming over to cut in. Eliot, make it believable, but don't hit me too hard, okay?" 

Instead of answering, Eliot twirled Parker around and smirked.


	21. Chapter 21

**Prompt:** 051\. Gift  
 **Pairing/Rating:** implied Nate/Sophie, Sophie  & Parker friendship, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Sophie startled when Parker came up behind her. 

"Parker, what are you--oh." Sophie, mouth open and eyes wide, looked into the mirror. "Oh, Parker, it's beautiful," she said, gingerly touching her throat where a square-cut blue diamond rested against her skin. The necklace, Sophie recognized at once, was platinum, cool and heavy, each link impossibly tiny and tightly woven into the next. 

"My gift," Parker said. "It's the prettiest diamond I have. And since the bride should be the prettiest one at the wedding..." she trailed off, smiling proudly when Sophie sighed happily and gave her that approving look that meant she'd done something right.


	22. Chapter 22

**Prompt:** 061\. Pure  
 **Pairing/Rating:** implied Parker/Hardison, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Parker took a deep breath, savoring the fresh, cold air. "This is nice." 

Behind her, Hardison shivered and wrapped his arms around his stomach. It wasn't easy. Between the thermal underwear, the shirt, the sweater vest, the sweater and the heavy winter jacket, he could hardly move. He did technically feel a little hot, but admitting it would have meant admitting that Parker had been right when she'd told him he was putting on too many clothes. 

"Sure," he said, his tone implying the opposite. "Nice."

"Come on," Parker said, hitting his arm. Hardison barely felt it through the four layers. "I wanna get on the slopes before anyone else does. This early, the fresh snow is really pretty, all white and pure and undisturbed." She grinned. "Less people also means you can go faster." 

"Right," Hardison mumbled, following after Parker. "Faster. How awesome." 

Next time, he was picking the vacation spot. It would start with an _H_ and end with an _awaii_.


	23. Chapter 23

**Prompt:** 063\. Syndrome  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

"TSS," Hardison said, clicking the remote on his beamer. The next slide showed several strains of bacteria under a microscope. "Toxic Shock Syndrome. Caused by several bacteria and potentially fatal." Another slide flew up, showing numerous newspaper clippings and official reports. "In the last three months, over three dozen people were treated for TSS; seven people died." 

"Our client," Nate cut in, "works at PharmaBlue. He's sure the source for these infections is first aid material sold by PharmaBlue, specifically gauze pads that are in their 5-dollar mini emergency kit that they brought on the market three months ago." 

"What a coincidence," Eliot muttered. "Does he have proof?" 

"He knows where it is," Nate said. "And I have a plan how to get it." He grinned. "Let's go steal us a pharmaceutical company. _Again._ "


	24. Chapter 24

**Prompt:** 064\. Save  
**Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
**Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** Set right before the episode where Hardison ate the damn sandwich. :D

Eliot stared into the refrigerator, ignoring the rows and rows of orange soda and Parker's gallons of milk. The spot where his sandwich - his homemade, tasty, perfectly-balanced sandwich - should sit was empty. 

Parker was the obvious suspect, as a master thief, but she stole cash and diamonds and the occasional painting, not food. Besides, she hated tomatoes and he'd put a nice, fleshy slice of heirloom tomato right in the middle of that sandwich. No way Parker would have stolen it without leaving the tomato slice behind. 

Nate and Sophie were right out - Sophie wouldn't eat that much garlic when they were going on a job later and Nate preferred to eat out.

"Hardison! What did you do with my sandwich!" Eliot shouted. When Hardison shrugged and put on an innocent expression, Eliot scowled. "I made that sandwich for myself. I was saving it for later. You don't just take another man's sandwich, Hardison!"

 **Prompt:** 045\. Erase  
**Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
**Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** reference to The Office Job AKA the sandwich incident (this one's set after the episode)

Eliot carefully used the eraser tool, running it along the edges of Hardison's head. The picture on the screen was zoomed in, showing only an unrecognizable, pixelated dark blob and the equally as pixelated light background. 

Grinning, Eliot finished up and took a moment to proudly admire his photoshop skills. _Not bad. Not bad at all._

He opened the carefully selected background picture and pasted Hardison's cut out body into the new image, sniggering to himself as he positioned the digital Hardison just right.

A few more minutes and he could send a mass email with the image attached - and perhaps print out a few hardcopies and save the image to a thumb drive because Hardison could and would try and erase and evidence it ever existed, fake or not.

Eliot grinned. Revenge served cold was the best. _Shouldn't have taken the damn sandwich._


	25. Chapter 25

**Prompt:** 086\. Forest  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Hardison turned on his heel, looking up at the thick canopy of leaves over their heads. "Where the heck are we?!" 

Eliot snorted. "What, your GPS gadget not working?" 

Hardison narrowed his eyes. "There's no signal out here! I didn't exactly plan ahead and re-route a satellite to make sure I wasn't stuck in some forest in the middle of nowhere without a signal."

Eliot smirked. "Uh-huh." 

"Stop being so smug," Hardison muttered. "I had them on the hook! If you hadn't barged in there like a maniac, they wouldn't have tossed us out of a truck in this goddamned forest." 

"If I hadn't burst in there, you wouldn't be alive to complain right now," Eliot said. 

Hardison sighed in annoyance. "Whatever, man. All I know is that I hate nature. And I especially hate it when you're there, telling me to enjoy the fresh air. We're lost in the middle of nowhere! There is _nothing_ to enjoy!" 

"Quit whining and start walking," Eliot said, giving Hardison a shove between the shoulder blades. 

Hardison's sulky silence lasted for all of forty seconds before the next round of complaints started.


	26. Chapter 26

**Prompt:** 087\. Octopus  
**Pairing/Rating:** Gen (or OT3), PG  
**Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

"What's in this?" Hardison asked suspiciously, inspecting the food piled up on his plate.

"It's stir fry," Eliot said. "Just eat it, Hardison!" 

"You didn't, like, put anything weird in it, did you?" Hardison asked, carefully sniffing at a forkful of food. 

Eliot rolled his eyes. "It's a seafood stir fry - there's nothing in it that'll kill you." 

"'S good," Parker said through a mouthful of food. "Crunchy. Tasty. Good." 

"All right," Hardison said. "Here goes nothing." He chewed carefully at first, testing out the flavors, then nodded. "You're right, this is pretty good." 

"I don't know why you still doubt me, man," Eliot said. "You know I can cook." 

"Yeah," Hardison said. "But after that incident with the bull testicles, I'm not sure I can _trust_ your cooking." 

Parker rolled her eyes. "Less talking, more eating."

#

An hour later, Parker was helping Eliot clean up.

"Okay, tell me," she demanded. "What did you put in the food that had you smirking all through dinner?" 

Eliot felt the corners of his mouth twitch, the smirk settling back on his lips. "Octopus." 

Parker snorted.

"What? He ate it, didn't he?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure Eliot knows everyone's food allergies, which is why he made Hardison eat something he wouldn't usually eat. In RL, please don't secretly feed anyone something they don't know they're eating unless you know for sure they're not allergic against it.


	27. Chapter 27

**Prompt:** 088\. Relief  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** set during the Mile High Job

The relief was palpable when the airplane finally came to a stop. 

In the cabin, the passengers burst into happy applause. People - strangers - fell into each other's arms, parents hugged their children close and more than one person ended up wiping the tears from their eyes. One by one, people made their way to the exits on shaky legs, arms around each other for support. The flight attendants, still reeling from the close call, made sure everyone got off the plane.

In the cockpit, the co-pilot looked across at the pilot and let out a deep breath. They'd done it. They were safe. Everyone was safe.


	28. Chapter 28

**Prompt:** 090\. Parasite  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** Stargate crossover; it's implied that Eliot was at one time host to a goa'uld symbiote.

"What do you mean, you're not going?" 

"I mean," Eliot said, "that I'm not going. You want to take on that particular base? Fine. But you can do it without me." 

Nate gave him an incredulous look. "Eliot, come on." 

Eliot shook his head, his arms crossed. "No way, Nate. I'm willing to do a lot of illegal, dangerous and quite frankly crazy things for this team, but I'm not going to take on the SGC!"

Parker, who'd wandered in during the middle of the argument but hadn't paid much attention to it, looked up from her crossword. "Hang on. I knew this next job was something in Colorado, but you never said anything about taking on the SGC!" 

"Wait!" Hardison threw in. "Y'all sound like you know what they're doing down there, but I've been trying to hack in for three days now and all I got is deep space telemetry. How do you--I tried every trick I know and I couldn't get in." 

Eliot and Parker exchanged a knowing look. Parker's eyes drifted down to the open collar of Eliot's shirt. The scar was on the back of his head, hidden under his hair, but they both knew it was there and where it was from. 

"We're not going," Eliot repeated. 

"And that's final," Parker added.


	29. Chapter 29

**Prompt:** 091\. Maze  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen (Eliot-centric), PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:**

The corn maze was actually one of the few things Eliot missed about his home town. Every fall, when the corn stood taller than just about any man in town, a few of the farmers would cut the maze. It was different every year. 

The annual harvest fair was the highlight of the year. As a child, he'd found it magical, all the sounds and sights, the cotton candy and the prizes you could win. And as the last act of the evening, his parents took him and his sister through the maze.

As a teenager, he'd gone mostly for the chance to get drunk and to pretend he didn't care about cotton candy or anything else. The prizes seemed a lot cheaper than they had when he'd been a child, but it wasn't about the prize - it was about testing yourself, seeing if you were better than the guy next to you. And the maze? After the families were gone for the day, the local teenagers used it as a place to make out. Eliot had some fond and some not so fond memories of those years. 

All in all, however, when the days got longer and the leaves turned golden, he found that he missed the atmosphere of home and the harvest festival.


	30. Chapter 30

**Prompt:** 092\. Despise  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen (or OT3), PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:**

"Who's Nate arguing with?" Eliot asked, nodding towards their mastermind. Nate was pacing up and down in a corner of the brew pub, occasionally stopping to hiss into his cell phone. He looked more annoyed than angry, which really didn't narrow it down much. 

Hardison glanced up. He exchanged a look with Parker. 

"You don't wanna know." 

"I'm sure I do," Eliot said. "I just asked, didn't I?"

"Yeeeeeeaah," Hardison said, drawing the word out. "But you really don't wanna know. Trust me, man." 

"Only if I have to," Eliot muttered, but there was no heat behind it. Louder, he added, "So it's someone I know?" 

"It's someone you despise," Parker said. 

"What?" 

"Despise," Parker repeated. "Loathe. Hate. Dislike. Detest. Abhor." 

"Okay," Eliot interrupted. "I get it. What I meant was, why did you say that? Anyone I truly dislike, Nate doesn't know. Except--" 

"Uh-oh," Parker stage-whispered to Hardison. "Eliot found out we might be working with Sterling again."


	31. Chapter 31

**Prompt:** 093\. Nightmare  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Hardison/Parker, PG-13?  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Hardison was idly flicking through news channels while his newest program ran its course. Then Parker let out a blood curling scream. Hardison was up and in the bedroom only moments later, finding Parker sitting up in the bed, wide-eyed and shaking.

"Babe! What happened? Are you okay?" He rubbed a soothing hand over Parker's back, feeling her snuggle against him. 

"I was a kid again," Parker said. "And you were the clown and Eliot was the horse and he killed you! And then you were dead but you kept walking around like those zombies in that movie and then both of you tried to kill me!" 

"It's was just a nightmare, babe. Do you want to try and go back to sleep, or do you want to watch TV for a bit." 

"Sleep," Parker decided. "I want to go back to that dream and kick your and Eliot's asses." 

"Okay then. Have fun!"


	32. Chapter 32

**Prompt:** 094\. Monster  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen (Eliot-centric), PG-13  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** Eliot angst.

Sometimes when Eliot looked down at his hands, he saw bloodstains. When he dreamed, he sometimes heard the gun shots and the screams, the pleading. He remembered the desperation that some of them showed, the bribes they offered, the curses they put on him with their last breath. 

Eliot had countless reminders of what a monster he really was. He could put on a charming smile, make his accent a little thicker, play on the side of the angels. But deep down, there was no redemption. Not for him, not after what he'd done.

That didn't mean he stopped trying, though.


	33. Chapter 33

**Prompt:** 095\. Ashes  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen (Nate-centric), PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** mentions the (canon) death of a child

Some nights, Nate woke up drenched in sweat, his eyes wet with tears and his ears still ringing with the priest's words. _Ashes to ashes, dust to dust._

With Sophie warm and alive at his side, it was easier to let the dreams go. He and Maggie had never found that warmth again after Sam's death. In their grief - separate, not shared - they'd snuffed out that candle that burned between them and they hadn't found a way to re-light it. 

_The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away._

_And sometimes,_ Nate thought, _He gives you a second chance._


	34. Chapter 34

**Prompt:** 089\. Beginning  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

If Nate had to guess, he, Eliot and Hardison were the three unhappiest people in the audience. Center stage, first row seats, the best in the house, and all three of them looked like someone had run over their puppy - _twice_. The only one who didn't seem to be bothered was Parker.

"Do you think it'll be all right for me to go home if I'm not feeling well?" Hardison asked. 

Eliot dug his elbow into Hardison's stomach, effectively pinning him to his seat. "If I have to suffer, you have to suffer." 

"How can you not want to flee the country whenever Sophie invites us to another one of these things?" Hardison asked. 

Parker shrugged. "It's not so bad if you don't expect it to be good. Like those movies that are so bad that they're actually really funny. Now hush, it's starting." 

Nate sank a little lower in his seat, wishing he had a flask of something strong with him.


	35. Chapter 35

**Prompt:** 026\. Baby  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Parker/Hardison, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

"I don't want a baby," Parker blurted. 

Hardison gaped for a few seconds, his mouth working without any words passing his lips. "Babe? Are you--do you--what are you saying?" he asked. "Are you _pregnant_?"

"No!" Parker rolled her eyes. "Of course I'm not pregnant." 

"Okay," Hardison said slowly. "Then why are we suddenly talking about babies?" 

"Because I don't want one," Parker said. She started twisting the hem of her shirt, nervously looking up at Hardison. "I know people are supposed to, but I just don't think--"

"Whoa, hey, calm down," Hardison interrupted her. "Nobody is _supposed_ to have kids. Some people do, some people don't. Nobody's saying we have to have kids. Not now, not in ten years, not ever. Not if you don't want to." 

"But don't you want kids?"

"I haven't thought about it. We don't exactly lead the best life for kids." Hardison shrugged. "I never knew my parents and I know yours weren't exactly parent material. How about we keep going as we have, and in five years or so, we'll see if anything's changed. If we feel differently about it. If not, then we keep going. We can always change our minds later." 

Parker sighed in relief. "Okay. Good." She quickly rose to her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to Hardison's cheek. "Thanks."


	36. Chapter 36

**Prompt:** 037\. Flag  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** Stargate crossover; I apologize to any Canadians reading this

"Dammit, Hardison!" Eliot muttered, striding along the underground corridor. He smiled politely and exchanged nods with a few people and then ducked into the office in question.

"What?" Hardison asked. "What now? Did I not get you into the _classified_ top secret base underneath NORAD? Did I not produce ID that would actually get you past the gate, the guards, the second elevator and the internal locks? Did I not make sure that your face was in all of their databases as Captain Eliot Summers? Didn't I?"

Eliot exhaled loudly, shooting an annoyed glance at the white-and-red flag on his arm patch. "Fine, okay, you did! But why'd you have to make me a Canadian?!"


	37. Chapter 37

**Prompt:** 038\. Ice  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, Parker  & Sophie friendship, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Parker sat up when Sophie walked into the apartment. "Ooh, did you bring ice cream?" 

Sophie nodded, trying to close the door while holding a large paper bag filled with groceries. 

Parker set down her empty bowl of cereal and held out her hands, wriggling her fingers impatiently. "Gimme, gimme!"

"Hold your horses," Sophie said. She sat down the groceries on the counter and then tossed the ice cream container at Parker. Parker caught it easily and immediately dug in. 

Sophie waited for a moment, but there was nothing but silence and Parker's slurping. Annoyed, she put her hands on her hips and asked, "Um, hello? How about a thank you?"


	38. Chapter 38

**Prompt:** 042\. Plague  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Hardison/Parker, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Hardison coughed, his whole body shaking. He moaned pitifully once he was done - which set off another cough attack. After a few minutes of wet, hacking coughs, he finally sank back into the pillows and sighed. His headache, which had doubled during every coughing fit, was slowly fading back to a manageable level. He blinked, feeling exhausted, but before he could fall back asleep, a noise in the doorway alerted him to Parker's presence. 

"Babe?" Hardison croaked. 

"I brought you some stuff," Parker said, holding out a plastic bag stuffed with a variety of cold medicines. "From the pharmacy." 

"That's great, thanks." 

Parker hesitated a moment, then dropped the bag on the floor and kicked it over to the bed.

"Seriously?" Hardison said. " _Seriously?!_ "

"Yeah," Parker said. "You have like, the plague or whatever. I'm not catching that."

Hardison sighed and leaned over to fish the medicine off the floor. At least she'd gone out and gotten the stuff.


	39. Chapter 39

**Prompt:** 043\. Shadow  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen (implied Nate/Sophie), PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** bad news at the doctor's office, suspected cancer

"There's a shadow," the doctor said, her face grave.

"A shadow?" Sophie asked uncertainly. "What does that mean?" 

"I don't want to alarm you," the doctor said, achieving the exact opposite. "All we know right now is that the image shows a small shadow right here," she said, pointing to a slightly darker area on the image she was holding. 

"Yeah, but what does it mean, Doctor?"

"So far, there is no cause for alarm. It's an abnormality, but it doesn't necessarily have to be cancerous or malignant. We'll take some blood, run a few tests. I'd also like to take a small tissue sample." 

"Yeah," Sophie said faintly. "Sure, okay."

 

**Prompt:** 052\. Negative  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen (implied Nate/Sophie), PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** follows 043. Shadow (see above), some angst, but with a happy ending

Three and a half weeks, and Sophie had never felt jumpier in her life. Not when she'd been stuck in a small middle-eastern palace while a war raged around her, not when she'd made it to the top of the most wanted list in three countries simultaneously, not when everything that could possibly go wrong when planning a wedding did in fact go wrong. 

She'd gone for a complete check up because she and Nate were finally ready. But to make sure they were healthy before they even started thinking about having a child together, they'd both gone in for a check-up. And then the doctor had discovered a shadow. 

Sophie let out a nervous breath. She hadn't even told Nate yet. He knew something was wrong, but he'd let her have her space. For now. 

When the phone finally rang two hours later, Sophie felt about as raw as fresh sushi. And then, after weeks of worrying and thinking up worst case scenarios during sleepless nights, the results were negative for cancer. Completely benign. For the first time in nearly a month, Sophie felt like she could breathe again.


	40. Chapter 40

**Prompt:** 044\. Belief  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," Christie chanted, a litany of fear and hopelessness. 

Parker rolled her eyes but managed to stop the loud annoyed sigh from escaping. Christie was afraid - Sophie said you should comfort scared people, not make them feel worse. 

"It's okay," Parker said comfortingly. 

"Okay?!" Christie screeched. "We're trapped in a hole in the ground and the water's rising! How is that okay?" she asked, stomping her foot to drive the point home. 

Parker tilted her head to the side. Christie did have a point. The cold water was already up to their ankles and rising fast. But then again, Christie didn't have an ear bud telling her that the team was working frantically to get to them in time.

"It'll be fine," she said. "My team is coming for us. They'll save us." 

Christie looked at her, her expression flickering between hope and despair. "How do you know? How do you know they'll get here in time?" 

Parker shrugged. "I believe in them."


	41. Chapter 41

**Prompt:** 046\. Technology  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

"...and then you transfer the code into the command box and hit enter. The computer will do the rest." 

"Seriously, man?" Eliot nodded to himself. "All right, that sounds easy enough." 

"Then do it!" 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Eliot mumbled. "Hold your horses. I'm doing it." He copied the code, entered it into the black field and hit enter. 

Nothing happened. 

"Nothing's happening," Eliot said. "I don't--what did I do wrong? I did it like you said!" 

Twenty miles away, in the employee bathroom of the company they were trying to con, Hardison closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The next time Nate got the brilliant idea to put him in the field and leave Eliot to man the computer, he'd pull any and all veto rights he had.


	42. Chapter 42

**Prompt:** 047\. Lying  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen (Sophie-centric), PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Sophie wasn't stupid. She had enough self-awareness to realize she kind of sucked as an actress - at least when she was acting in front of a camera or audience and not someone she was trying to con. She'd never quite figured out how to tap into that reservoir inside herself. She was an amazing grifter, so she _knew_ she had the talent. But it was like all the doors were closed when it wasn't about the con and she was left standing outside in the cold, unable to remember any of her lines. 

She still appreciated the fact that the team continued to come to her plays and that they were nice enough to lie about liking them.


	43. Chapter 43

**Prompt:** 048\. Violence  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen (Eliot-centric), PG-13  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Violence, like pain, was one of Eliot's constant companions. It wove a thread through his life that was so strongly intertwined with the rest of him that there was no chance he'd ever be rid of it. The desire to punch people, the overwhelming rage that threatened to take over sometimes, and the iron-hard discipline and control he used to keep himself in check. 

These days he used his talent for violence - pure, physical, bone-breaking violence - for good but he remembered a time when he'd used it to inflict pain, cause terror and panic and to get a taste of that power, of other people's fear, that now made him sick to his stomach.


	44. Chapter 44

**Prompt:** 049\. Bereft  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Eliot didn't think the others were aware of how much Parker accidentally revealed about her past through her actions and behaviors. He never called any attention to it, but he always noticed. 

Like in his kitchen. Parker had her preferred types of food, but she'd eat anything (really, _anything_ ) if she didn't have to buy it or make it or steal it. If someone offered her food, she always took it. Not out of politeness - Eliot didn't kid himself. If it tasted like crap, Parker would say so - and loudly - but eat it anyway. Coupled with a few things she'd let slip over the years, he could only assume that she could never be sure, as a kid, where her next meal was coming from. Or if it was coming at all. It made him wonder, sometimes, how many of the things he and so many people had taken for granted as children Parker had been bereft of. 

_Too many,_ Eliot guessed. _Way too many._


	45. Chapter 45

**Prompt:** 054\. Power  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** references to He-Man; Parker behaves like a child

Parker jumped up on the couch, putting one foot up on the back rest. She reached behind her and pulled a long ruler out of the back of her shirt. "By the Power of Grayskull!" she shouted, brandishing the ruler like a sword.

Nate and Sophie, having just come in the door, exchanged a confused look. "What's going on here?" Nate asked. 

From the kitchen island, twin sighs could be heard. Eliot and Hardison, leaning against the kitchen island side by side, gave Nate tired looks. 

"Eliot let her have like insane amounts of chocolate," Hardison said, his tone accusing.

"I'm not Parker's parent, okay? If she wants to eat three pounds of chocolate, it isn't any of my business," Eliot defended himself. "And besides, Hardison let her run wild with his Netflix account. She's been watching old cartoons all day." 

Hardison nodded ruefully. "Just be glad you weren't here for the Sailor Moon phase."


	46. Chapter 46

**Prompt:** 055\. Distress  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** sexism. kinda. I think. (Yeah, no. Definitely. Just because Sophie is a woman doesn't mean she's exempt.)

"Okay, Parker, pretend like I'm the mark," Sophie instructed. "Now, listen carefully. The world wants you to believe that men and women are equal, but that's bullshit. However, in some cases, we can use it to our advantage. Like playing to a man's need to play the gentleman and/or hero. Squeeze out a few tears, look distressed, ask for help. Nine times out of ten, you'll have his wallet, his PIN, and the keys to his car by the end of the night." 

Parker nodded. "Understood." 

"Good. Now show me. Your best distressed act."

Parker took a few fortifying breaths and then blinked a few times before looking at Sophie with wide, wet eyes. Her lower lips wobbled a little and she let out a small gasp, like she was desperately trying to stop herself from crying.

"Very good, Parker," Sophie praise. "Now the same with a few tears and some desperate arm clutching. They fall for that every time."


	47. Chapter 47

**Prompt:** 060\. Emotion  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG-13  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Eliot was not an emotional man. In his line of work, he couldn't afford to be, not in the past, and certainly not now. If he got too emotional, too attached, too _affected_ , he stopped doing his job to the best of his ability.

Except--

Except he was too emotional, too attached and definitely too affected by the team to call his involvement with the team unemotional. He threw himself into the line of fire, not just because that was his job, but because he _cared_. 

He just hoped nobody would figure out his weakness. As long as the rest of the world believed that Eliot Spencer was an unemotional bastard who let his fists do the talking, they'd be fine.


	48. Chapter 48

**Prompt:** 056\. Fortune  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

"What's that saying again? Fortune favors the brave?" Nate asked. 

"Yeah, _whatever_ ," Eliot said pointedly. "Sometimes bravery is stupid and it's just gonna get you killed."

"You've done more stupidly brave things than all of us put together," Nate argued.

"I'm a _hitter_ ," Eliot said. "I take calculated risks. I know my odds against any number of weapons, opponents and fighting styles. It might look like I'm running blindly into danger, but I very rarely do." 

"Ah!" Nate said. "But it does happen!" 

Eliot sighed. "Fine," he said. "Yes, it does happen. But not when there's another way." 

"Hmm," Nate said. "We'll just have to agree to disagree in this case."

Eliot closed his eyes and shook his head. It was a bona fide miracle that he didn't have any gray hairs yet, considering the company he kept.


	49. Chapter 49

**Prompt:** 057\. Cloth  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

"What is...?" Hardison scrolled down the list of orders, frowning. "What the hell is cheesecloth and why do we need it? ELIOT!" 

"What?" Eliot yelled back. 

"What the hell is cheesecloth and why did you put it on this week's order?" 

Eliot appeared in the doorway, hair pulled back and with an apron around his waist. "I'm making cheese."

"Cheese?"

Eliot nodded. "Yeah, cheese." He gave Hardison an excited look. "Cheesecloth is this thin fabric that I need for the cheese-making process. Soon, we'll have homemade cottage cheese that will actually work with that weird pear-flavored beer monstrosity you put on the menu." 

Hardison frowned uncertainly, not sure if he should react to the insult about his beer or let it slide.

"Don't argue with me on this, Hardison," Eliot said. 

Hardison let it go.


	50. Chapter 50

**Prompt:** 058\. Bound  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen (sort of Parker/the team's mark, but not at all, really), PG-13  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:**...using a mark's kink against him?

"Um, baby?" 

"No talking," Parker snapped, and the mark instantly snapped his mouth shut. She smiled to herself. Sophie had been spot on. All she'd had to do was be interested and a little bit domineering, and he'd done everything she asked, including taking her up to his private penthouse suite. He didn't even look scared when Parker pulled out a blindfold and some handcuffs. 

Parker shrugged. It gave her time to crack the safe, grab the evidence and leave. Sophie said she probably wouldn't have to worry about security since the mark would be reluctant to call them. Parker wasn't sure why people got so embarrassed about sex sometimes, but if it worked in their favor, who cared?


	51. Chapter 51

**Prompt:** 059\. Choir  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Around him, people were finding seats and chattering quietly. Hardison looked up at the large wooden Jesus-on-the-cross that was dangling from the ceiling of the church. "Why?" he asked. "Is it punishment? Is it, isn't it? You're, what? Trying to make me go straight, back to the path of righteousness?" 

Hardison sighed and straightened up, catching a glimpse of his bench neighbor giving him a strange look. 

"Do you mind?" he snapped. "This is a private conversation." He made a shooing gesture, causing the man to move a few seats down. "Yeah, that's right. These seats are taken anyway," Hardison added, throwing his leg up over the bench. Eliot, Nate and Parker were around here somewhere. Or at least they'd better be. No way was he listening to Sophie's debut as a choir singer all by himself.


	52. Chapter 52

**Prompt:** 062\. Fantasy  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** features Bohemian Rhapsody *g*

Parker opened the door to Nate's place and stopped in her tracks, biting back a laugh. Eliot, coming up behind her, opened his mouth to ask what the hold-up was when he caught sight of Hardison, standing in the middle of the living room with his headphones on. He had both arms raised to the ceiling, his eyes closed and his head thrown back.

"Is this real life? Is this just a fantasy?" Hardison crooned. "Caught in a landslide; no escape from reality."

Parker couldn't help it; she burst out laughing. Behind her, Eliot snorted.

Hardison jumped a foot in the air and turned, ripping his headphones off and hiding them behind his back, like that would take back Parker and Eliot's last minute of memory. 

"Oh, shut up," Hardison mumbled. "Queen is a classic. This song is a classic!"


	53. Chapter 53

**Prompt:** 065\. Enemy  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** Elementary school AU?

"He's my arch nemesis," Nate said, stumbling only a little over the pronunciation of nemesis. He stared across the playground at Jimmy Sterling, his eyes narrowed. 

"What's an ark nemasys?" Parker asked. She was hanging face down from the monkey bars, her blonde hair fluttering in the wind. 

"You shouldn't hang upside down all the time," Hardison said before Nate could explain anything. "All the blood goes into your head and then you DIE," he said dramatically. When Parker gave him a skeptical look, still hanging upside down, he nodded. "It's true. My nana said so." 

Parker sighed and dropped down. "So what's a nemasys again?" 

"My worst enemy," Nate muttered darkly.


	54. Chapter 54

**Prompt:** 067\. Freak  
 **Pairing/Rating:** implied Hardison/Parker, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Parker knew she wasn't normal. She'd always known that she was _wrong_ , somehow. Too unemotional, too weird, too different. A freak. Someone who didn't know how to relate to other people or even talk to them without making it weird. She didn't need Eliot telling her that there was something wrong with her - her whole life people had never told her anything else. 

Until Hardison. 

Hardison looked at her and he saw all of her flaws. He rolled his eyes at any of her weird habits and sometimes there was this pause before he responded that she knew meant she'd messed up somehow. But he never called attention to it and he never took back the best thing anyone had ever said to her. 

_I like how you turned out._


	55. Chapter 55

**Prompt:** 069\. Circle  
**Pairing/Rating:** implied Nate/Sophie, PG  
**Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** kidfic

"Oh, come _on_!" Parker said. "It's not that hard!" 

Kenny gave her a doubtful look and tried to squash his entire fist into his mouth. 

Parker made a face at all the drool that was running down Kenny's fingers and his wrist down into his sleeve. She took the blue square, the red circle and the yellow star-shaped block and held them up. "See? The square goes into the square hole, the circle goes into the round hole and the spiky one goes into the star thingy." She let all three blocks fall through the holes, Kenny watching her with unimpressed eyes. 

"Really?" she asked. "Not interested? Not even a little?" 

"Babe," Hardison said from the doorway. "You do realize he's six months old, right?

"So?" 

"So Sophie brought some age-appropriate toys for him." 

Parker rolled her eyes and exchanged a conspiratorial look with Kenny. He agreed: appropriate was boring.

 **Prompt:** 070\. Demon  
**Pairing/Rating:** Gen (background Nate/Sophie), PG  
**Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

"Don't forget," Hardison said at the end of the morning briefing," Nate and Sophie are gonna be here at around four, so we should have everything wrapped up until then or they might get involved in our con." 

"Ugh," Parker said. "It's still weird that they're actually _retired_ from the life." 

Hardison shrugged. "They're married with a kid - kinda hard to be jetting around the world, getting into all kinds of trouble, when you've got a child to consider." 

Parker made a face. "Especially _that_ child."

Hardison and Eliot exchanged a look. 

"About that," Hardison said slowly. "Parker, please, for all that is holy, never _ever_ refer to Nate Junior as 'the demon child' in front of Sophie again."

 **Prompt:** 047\. Lying  
**Pairing/Rating:** implied Nate/Sophie, PG  
**Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** kidfic

"Boys!" Sophie yelled, waiting until she could hear running footsteps on the stairs. She put on her best stern expression and put her hands on her hips. "I want to know which one of you broke the flower pot," she said when the boys came to a stop in front of her. 

"Kenny did it!" Nate Jr. burst out. 

"Did not!" Kenny protested. "You did it!" 

"Did not!" Nate Jr. said, and ten seconds later, the two boys were engaged in a rousing did - did not argument.

"That's enough!" Sophie said. "If you won't tell me, then you'll both clean it up. And no dessert for either one of you tonight." She stalked off and then stopped once she was out of sight, turning back to peek into the living room. For the first time, she couldn't tell which one of the boys was lying to her, and while the grifter side of her was incredibly proud and pleased by this, the mother side was appropriately horrified.


	56. Chapter 56

**Prompt:** 042\. Plague  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG-13  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** Zombie AU

"Water?" Hardison asked when Eliot and Parker, looking exhausted, stepped into the makeshift tree house. 

Parker nodded. "We got enough for the next five days. It's running through the purifier right now." 

"Anyone hurt?" 

Eliot shook his head. "Didn't run into anyone infected, and we even managed to find some fruit." 

"Awesome!" Hardison said. "We'll have to boil it first, but fruit is fruit, right?" 

"Yup," Eliot agreed. "I guess we're getting dessert tonight." 

"I have good news too," Hardison said. "I managed to build a radio from the scavenged parts. I built in an amplifier, but the range is still very limited out here. If we get close enough to the border, maybe we can contact Nate and Sophie and find a way to get us out of the quarantine zone and back to civilization." 

"Big if," Eliot commented, "but I'll take it."

 

 **Prompt:** 049\. Bereft  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG-13  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** Zombie AU, companion to the one above

In the background, the newscaster droned on and on about the people that were lost in the outbreak and how, six days after the first cases were discovered, a vaccine had been found. Nate scowled at the TV, his scowl turning into a sneer when the footage switched from the studio to a bird's eye view of the quarantine zone, or Dead Zone as it was commonly called. According to official reports, nobody - not even the infected - had survived in the Dead Zone. Nate knew different though. He knew - somehow, in his gut, he just _knew_ \- that Parker, Hardison and Eliot were still alive.


	57. Chapter 57

**Prompt:** 082\. Hell  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** not really a crossover, but the concept of the underworld as an office building is shamelessly stolen from The Middleman

"I kind of imagined it differently," Parker whispered. "More fire and torture. You know, more hell-like." 

"What are you talking about?" Hardison whispered back. "I can't think of a more appropriate setting for hell than an office building. I mean, can you imagine? Consider this: having to fill out the same form for all of eternity because they require seven trillion copies to be handed in. Or needing a certain form and being sent from counter to counter to office and back to some other counter. _Forever._ Now that's what I call hell." 

"If you two could shut up," Eliot growled from behind them. "We're here to do a job - you can philosophize about the appearance of hell once we're not longer in it!"


	58. Chapter 58

**Prompt:** 083\. Brimstone  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

"Ugh, what is that smell?" Parker gagged and held her nose, a disgusted expression on her face. 

"It's sulfur," Hardison said absently, pushing his protective glasses further up his nose. "Now hush, this is a critical step." He turned back to his beakers, slowly swirling a dirty-looking liquid, clearly waiting for something to happen. 

Parker turned on her heel and exited the back room, feeling like the smell of rotten eggs was still lingering in her nose. "Does it smell in here?" she asked. 

Eliot looked up from where he was chopping onions. "Damn right it does," he groused. "Hardison and his damn experiments. He needs to find another place to play with his chemistry set. I'm not kidding - how is anyone supposed to eat in this place when it smells like something rotten in here. We open in three hours! The smell'd better be gone by then." 

Parker smiled and nodded, slowly backing away. Today was probably one of those days where she should stay out late unless she wanted to be dragged into an argument.


	59. Chapter 59

**Prompt:** 039\. Genie  
 **Pairing/Rating:** implied Parker/Hardison, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** references the TV show I Dream of Jeannie 

"Wow, babe, you look... _wow_ ," Hardison said, hardly able to tear his eyes away from Parker. She was dressed in a pink and red genie costume, with a free midriff and soft red slippers. 

Parker beamed at him. "Do you like it?"

"You look incredible," he said, nodding. "And can I just say? My costume makes so much more sense now," Hardison continued. Parker had told him exactly what to wear, but he hadn't really seen a way to make his military uniform work with any other costume to make a true couple's costume, but of course Parker had found a way. 

"I'm Jeannie the genie," she said, bouncing excitedly. 

"Yeah, I got that," Hardison said with a laugh. "Captain Nelson, at your service."


	60. Chapter 60

**Prompt:** 040\. India  
**Pairing/Rating:** Nate/Sophie, PG  
**Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** kidfic (sort of), arguments

Sophie sighed deeply, rubbing her belly. "Well, what about India?" she suggested. 

Nate pulled a face. "Okay, new rule. No plant names, no place names or country names and nothing foreign." 

Sophie narrowed her eyes. "Fine," she snapped. "We might as well name her Junior then, if you're so opposed to every name I come up with!" 

Nate, realizing that he was apparently treading on very thin ice, winced. "Sophie," he said in a placating tone. "You don't want our kid to be teased in school, do you?" 

"You don't want our kid to have the same name as ten other kids in her grade, do you?" Sophie asked in the same tone of voice. "Yeah, that's what I thought. So you know what, Nate Ford? You might want a completely average, nondescript, _boring_ name for your daughter, but I want her to be called something special, something unique, something she can be proud of. And until you see things my way, you can sleep on the couch!"

 **Prompt:** 041\. Frog  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Nate/Sophie, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** continuation of the ficlet above

"Sophie," Nate said, wrapping his arms around her from behind. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." 

Sophie hummed, but didn't return the hug. If Nate wanted to make peace, he had to come up with something better.

"Really," Nate added. "I just don't want the little tadpole to end up with a name that doesn't fit, you know? Can't we find some middle ground?" 

Sophie sighed, relaxing into her husband's arms a little. "Fine," she said. She put her hand on the curve of her stomach, protectively cradling the life inside it. "But only because I don't want her to be miserable throughout school."


	61. Chapter 61

**Prompt:** 031\. Super  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Hardison and Parker waited around the corner, listening over the comms as Eliot beat up the bad guys. Hardison winced in sympathy at the sound of a very loud smack, even knowing that it was likely one of the bad guys who'd gotten smacked.

"Do you think Eliot's secretly Superman?" Parker suddenly asked.

Hardison did a double take. "Sorry, what?" 

"Superman," Parker explained. "Like, we know he's strong, but do you think he's super strong? He never loses a fight!" 

"He does, though, sometimes," Hardison argued. "And besides, how do you even come up with these things?" 

Parker shrugged. "Saw a Superman marathon on the TV last night."


	62. Chapter 62

**Prompt:** 032\. Fall  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Parker loved the feeling of free falling, those precious seconds before the harness caught on the lines and pulled her back up, catching her safely; the moments before the pulled the line on her parachute and the rapid descent slowed to a stop, the juxtaposition of feelings so strong and clear that it sometimes made her head swim. In a good way. 

Hardison _hated_ the feeling of free falling. Entirely too many seconds of sheer terror and panic - what if the harness tore? what if the parachute didn't open? what if, what if, what if! - before being yanked to a stop in various painful ways. 

Where Parker grinned at the idea of jumping from a great height, Hardison winced.


	63. Chapter 63

**Prompt:** 033\. Rope  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

"Hardison? What are you doing here?" Parker asked. She was in the middle of her bed, an incredible amount of rope piled up beside her. 

"When you said you were busy, I kinda figured you were lying." 

Parker frowned. "So what? You decided to come over anyway? I'm _busy_ , Hardison. And even if I _had_ been lying, I told you I don't have time for you today. What gives you the right to barge in here anyway?" She glared at him. "I'm changing the combination on the lock." 

Hardison raised his hands. "Whoa, I'm sorry, okay? I won't do it again. ...just one question? What the heck are you doing with all that rope?!"


	64. Chapter 64

**Prompt:** 050\. Explosion  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

"Uh-oh."

"What?" Hardison said, sitting up straighter in his chair. "Did you just uh-oh, Parker? That's--you know I don't like it when you do that! It brings things like Russian mobsters and nuclear warheads and the goddamn kraken. I don't--"

"Hardison!" Eliot growled into the comms. When Hardison snapped his mouth shut, he continued, "Parker? What do you got?" 

"A bomb, right under the head honcho's chair. A pipe bomb, pretty crude but effective," she said. "I can't see where it's connected so I can't disarm it." 

"You're a thief! You should even know how to recognize a type of bomb, let alone disarm it!" 

"Pah," Parker replied loftily. "I like learning new things. Besides, I'm the mastermind now." 

Hardison cleared his throat. "Um, can we get back to the _bomb_?"

 

**Prompt:** 055\. Distress  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** directly follows the drabble above

Hardison sat on hot coals while Eliot continued the job inside the building and Parker wheeled the bomb - office chair and all - out the back exit. Parker couldn't disarm it, Eliot couldn't step away from his part of the job and they couldn't let anyone get blown up, no matter how they might deserve it. So Parker had made a judgment call: she had to move the bomb and let it go off somewhere where it wouldn't harm anyone. The choices were limited to the street (too many cars and people) and the back parking lot (lots of cars, definitely less people and less of a chance to be stopped on the way). 

Hardison didn't like it. He had horror visions of the bomb going off early, burying the two people that meant most to him in the world. Then he heard Parker's voice over the comm, saying, "Okay, I've pushed it to the back corner of the parking lot. There are a few cars nearby, but no people. Timer says forty-two seconds, so I'm gonna head around the building towards Hardison. Eliot, finish your bit and join us before the cops show up." 

"Will do," Eliot replied. 

It was a waking nightmare, counting down the seconds until the roar of the explosion reached him. "Parker! Eliot! Answer me!" 

"I'm here," Eliot said. "Two more minutes and I'm out." 

"Parker? Dammit, Parker, where are you?"

Lucille's back doors opened and Parker climbed in, grinning. "Sorry, the comm fizzled out on me. I'm okay."


	65. Chapter 65

**Prompt:** 061\. Pure  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** the purest Carpathian wood bit is shamelessly stolen from The Middleman

"What's all this?" Hardison asked, stepping into the back room of the brew pub. Every flat surface was piled with items, some of which he recognized, others he had no idea what they were. 

Eliot and Parker, both knee-deep in what looked like the parts of a small trebuchet that they were setting up, looked up. "Oh, you're here," Parker said. "Can you hold this?" 

Hardison held the toolkit while Eliot and Parker continued setting up - and yes, it actually was a trebuchet. "Why are you building a trebuchet in the back room?" 

"Vampires," Parker said, like that explained everything. 

"Vampires," Hardison repeated. "And we need a trebuchet for that... why?" 

"Suckers are strong," Eliot growled. "I'm not gettin' close enough to let one of them take a bite outta me." 

Hardison blinked, feeling a little like he'd wandered into the wrong movie. "Uh-huh," he said, watching as Parker took a long spear and loaded it into the trebuchet. "We're hunting vampires with a trebuchet and a spear. Okay." 

"It's not just a spear," Eliot said. 

"It's made from the purest Carpathian wood," Parker added. "The only thing that will kill them."

"Okay," Hardison repeated. "You know what? I'm just gonna go out front where the normal people are. When I get back, none of this stuff will be here and you'll be normal again." 

Eliot and Parker's laughter followed him out of the room.


	66. Chapter 66

**Prompt:** 063\. Syndrome  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG-13  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** mentions: abortion against the parents-to-be's will, shady medical practices

"He did what?" Eliot asked. 

"He aborted our baby," Vicky said, her voice shaking. Phil, her husband, reached over and covered her hand with his. "I was just going for a check-up and suddenly the doctor was all, ' so that's that taken care of' and told me the abortion was successful!" 

"He mixed up patient files; a woman whose baby was diagnosed with some kind of genetic syndrome was supposed to get the abortion for medical reasons," Phil said. "But our baby was completely healthy! And when we tried to go to the authorities, we discovered that he'd doctored the files. We asked around a little and there are a lot of other women and couples who'd had problems with this doctor." 

"We can't change what happened to us," Vicky said, wiping away a tear, "but if you can stop this man, then maybe someone else won't have to go through it." 

Eliot and Hardison exchanged a grave look. They'd do anything they could to see this man brought to justice.


	67. Chapter 67

**Prompt:** 064\. Save  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen (maybe OT3), PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

It sometimes made Eliot uncomfortable, this unshaking, sometimes child-like belief in him that Hardison and Parker - but especially Parker - had. They weren't blind to his faults - far from it - but they both believed with all of their heart that he'd always be there to bail them out, that he'd always get there in time to save them. So far, he had. Not always in time to prevent injuries, but always there quickly enough to stop them from getting seriously hurt, even if he took the beating instead. 

Eliot dreaded the day when he got there too late.


	68. Chapter 68

**Prompt:** 052\. Negative  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Eliot was thrown off his feet when the explosion shattered all the windows and brought the entire building down. He groaned, hearing nothing but the ringing in his ears. _Oh yeah, I'm gonna be feeling this explosion tomorrow,_ he thought, rolling his shoulders.

His earbud was a lost cause, so Eliot pocketed it and made his way towards the van. Lucille was parked only a couple of blocks away. When he got there, Hardison didn't even notice the door opening, he was so busy typing and checking his monitors. 

"Sure," he mumbled, "get in an explosion, it's not like that's dangerous or, you know, _deadly_. See if I care. Goddamn rambo types, why do I have to be saddled with team mates that jump off of really tall buildings and get caught in explosions. Gonna give me a heart attack one of these days."

"Why do you always have to be so negative?" Eliot asked. 

Hardison screamed and whirled around. "You _ass_!" he said with feeling. "Don't ever do that to me again!"


	69. Chapter 69

**Prompt:** 058\. Bound  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG-13  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

Eliot sighed, subtly testing the strength of the plastic ties that held his wrists together behind his back. A lot of people thought they were impossible to escape unless you had a pair of scissors or a knife, but Eliot knew better. As long as you had the right technique, cable ties were even easier to get out of than ropes. No need to undo any knots. It was quicker, too. He could be out of cable ties in under two seconds - ropes took a bit longer, especially if you needed to be free at a certain time but couldn't let your captors know before then. Eliot sighed again, silently urging Hardison to hurry up. He wanted to get out of these ties and punch someone _yesterday_.

 

**Prompt:** 045\. Erase  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen, PG-13  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** directly follows the one above

"Eliot," Hardison's voice said in his ear, "heads up. Two minutes." 

Eliot didn't respond, but he slowly amped up his awareness. While he'd still been aware of any possible threats, Eliot hadn't found it quite necessary to listen to the entire Evil Monolog word for word. Parker was the mastermind - then why was he stuck listening the evil megalomaniac's monolog? 

"You know what I'm gonna do with you," the mark said, getting into Eliot's face. "I'm gonna erase you, wipe you from the face of the earth. Your own mother won't recognize you after I'm done." 

Eliot gave him an unimpressed look. In his ear, Hardison said, "Eliot, go."

_Finally._


	70. Chapter 70

**Prompt:** 044\. Belief  
 **Pairing/Rating:** Gen (implied Hardison/Parker), PG  
 **Warnings/Spoilers/Notes:** \---

"You can do it, Hardison," Parker said, giving him an encouraging smile. "I believe in you, Alec." 

Hardison groaned. He was helpless when Parker called him Alec and she damn well knew it. Hardison glared at her, but Parker only smiled back sweetly.

"All you have to do is let go," she said. "You trust me, don't you?" 

"Of course I trust you, babe," Hardison reassured her. "It's, you know, everything else that - to be honest - scares me a little."

Parker nodded. "These people are certified, Hardison. I checked their rigging and their machines and I looked at all of the ropes. You're good," she said. With a slightly evil grin, she slapped his back. 

Hardison knew exactly what was coming next. He'd been in this position before, unfortunately. Instead of a friendly slap to the back, Parker gave him a hard shove and he went over the edge, screaming himself hoarse until the bungee cord caught him and he gently bounced his way to solid ground again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed these ficlets. 
> 
> ...if you're an Eliot/Quinn fan, you might want to check out [these ficlets](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6883396) as well. They were originally part of this batch (as in, they were written for the same challenge), but since they were all connected, I decided to post them separately. Enjoy!


End file.
